Hilarious! Thanks for the link Anton. As a triathlete, I'm going to have to disagree with some of these (the no sleeveless jersey rule in particular), but I guess that going against some of these rules make it easy for the pure cyclists to see that you are a triathlete.

yeah, I think I broke nearly every rule, except the ones regarding group ride etiquette since I never group ride

Hilarious! It always cracks me up when I see guys out there decked out in full matching outfits. :)

I'm not sure what parts of the article are sarcastic, and which are honest. I know I've seen some people following those rules, so they have to be partially true. Either way, the article was good.

Now that's some funny stuff. I really hope that he was being sarcastic. I've never gone on a group ride or been part of a club and if he's even a little serious about those rules I may never. Whenever I get to the point where I start calling my biking gear my "kit," I know its time to give myself a swift kick in the butt. I hardly have time to plan my training schedule let alone plan a matching outfit. I always wondered if the group of matching riders realized they looked a little dorky and now I know that they may have no clue. Maybe I'm just jealous because I'm not one of the cool kids. Luckily I'm a triathlete and not a cyclist.

teehee around here people ID triathletes by the sleeveless jersey complete with arm warmers :)

And I match... and sometimes match Mike, too! It happens when you are on the same team and have done many of the same races (and the same bikes, and want to match the color of the bike you are on with your jersey). But we do break the rule about wearing event jerseys all the time.

He left out the #1 rule to being euro cool: you have to ride a euro bike, and it must be equipped with campy. Record. No substitutes. Though nice bikes, you can't look good riding a Madone past someone on a Trek 7000 multitrack. Pinarello, Colnago, some obscure small brand Danish bike maker, whatever; just no Trek, Giant, Cannondale or Specialized.

And #2, you must match your bike to your kit. Have it custom painted if necessary. Helmet, jersey, bibs, socks, gloves, shoes, bottles and sunglasses must all be of the same color motif and, ideally, have matching team designs on them.

I admit, I break a couple of these (don't always wear bibs and will rock the sleeveless jersey) but I do manage to go full "Euro-cool" in a few categories, most frustratingly the part about never carrying spare parts and training on clinchers/racing on tubulars. He should had included something about riding home 40 miles on a flat because you refuse to carry spares--not because you have a team car, but because you can true your wheel once you arrive. And you're euro-cool if you maintain pace and formation while riding on that flat.

As a guy who rocks the only bike in the peloton with downtube shifters, and an old school alum/carbon frame.......I could care less about "my kit" matching anything. If it works I'll use it.

Funny side note, last week a guy at the bike shop was walking around comparing a helmet he just bought to everything in the shop that was white.
He was convinced that his new brain cap was 2 shades from white on the cream side of the color spectrum. It was hilarious as he went from person to person, asking, "is this white or not?"

This all came to an abrupt halt when he asked a rather attractive 40 something female patron what she thought. She basicly told him to grow a pair and stop being so vain........

It was priceless.....

+1 to that! Chill people! I'm all for laughing at myself!

That was a riot!! Great post, thanks alot!

track stand is balancing without moving
i think it comes from track cycling where they're expected to start upright from a standing start without help
it's easier with a fixed gear bike, but certainly doable with freewheel setups

I'm definitely not euro-cool. I actually only own one cycling jersey, and it's too small for me so I'm still "growing" into it. I usually wear normal t-shirts with my cheap-o hammer nutrition cycling shorts. Either that, or I wear my pink pseudo-jersey.

Thank you for explaining the track stand. However, I'd be more impressed if someone would ride a wheelie when leaving a stop sign, then doing a track stand at a stop sign. Even though it looks hard, being really still doesn't impress me.

Today I went on my 2nd group ride ever. I was the only with without a jersey, and the only one with baggy $5 wal-mart shorts. As long as I look like a newbie, I don't feel bad asking "was that the hard part of the ride, or is it getting worse?" after a series of hills where we dropped 3/4 the group.